on baking cookies

we have had a virus cycling through our house for the past two weeks now. first dad, then you and now me. i am having the hardest time being the mom i want to be this week. my patience is beyond limited. my head is throbbing, and your needs are that of a two-year-old.

but today, we baked cookies anyway. actually, i did all of the mixing and scooping and baking, but you did the very best of the eating.

the cookies were of the chocolate variety, which you cannot seem to get enough of these days, and you had the very hardest time waiting for them to cool, as you do. we were eating them together standing in the kitchen, you on your chair and me on my feet, and i realized something. never in my life, until you came along, have i enjoyed warm cookies the way that we do. the proper way.

i love cookies. i always have. i've baked them for years, but never with a sous chef or a taste tester. i make them, quickly make work of one or two, and then i save them for someone or something else. but with you we make them to enjoy them.

we go through the process together. i usually let you throw flour all around, while i mix everything together. you watch me carefully as i place them in the oven knowing full well that gratification is around the corner. we check the oven periodically to watch them rise and spread. then we remove them and the real fun begins. we check and we check and we check again, until they are just cool enough. then we pour a couple of glasses of milk. we assume our routine positons (you standing on your chair and me on my feet). and we eat. and we eat maybe one more.

but they taste so delicious and so perfect. and i wonder why. i think maybe it's because you love them as much as i do. or maybe because if you weren't around i wouldn't be baking these particular cookies in the first place. i don't think i can ever be sure. whatever the reason, i hope for the rest of my days cookies will be this way. this very proper way.

i love you so much, even on my worst of the worst days.

i cannot believe how lucky we are.

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